Discernment - Friendship

So the second sermon's was entitled: Discernment - Friendship. Something which is more tangible to my everyday life and others too. I sat there for that hour, feeling like I was in the hot seat, getting grilled by passages taken from Proverbs. Within the past year or so, there have been a few friendships that have really gone sour and taken a nose dive, down in the dirts. Frankly, I might have left this alone for too long of a time to salvage anything from it, but I pray that God will give me strength and guidance to pursue what's left of this mess I have left behind. It's something I thought time would be able to let me forget the hurt and pain I've experienced and instilled upon others, but it's almost comical to see how it's been brought back into the forefront (directly and indirectly) this term, even when I'm miles (kilometres =P) away from them.

I think part of my problem I've found about myself is my pride, always thinking that I've done nothing wrong on my part and unwilling to apologize or in some cases, takes me a lot of will to muster up a 'sorry' and forgive. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any hurt feelings I've instilled upon others (this will remain anonymous...) and I really hope that you can forgive me for my wrongdoings. And for my other friends, thank you. Thank you for being there to share my joys and my burdens. You guys are awesome! =)

Through the message on Sunday, I have really been encouraged to spend more time in going deeper or reestablishing communication with hopefully all you people reading this blog entry. I think God has answered my prayers - I was really happy to chat online with a lot of people I haven't talked to in a while and catch up/share what we've been up to lately yesterday, having people message me online (I generally don't like starting a conversation hahahaha... kinda sad though). And of course, everyone I talk to regularly, you guys always bring a smile to my face =D And I think the biggest blessing of the week: Herman in San Diego! It was so nice to see a familiar face from Waterloo (other than interns working here) and being able to share openly with him about random stuff =) (and getting to sit in a convertible on a sunny and warm Sunday - picture perfect day =) )

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

Discernment - Homosexuality

The past two Sundays' sermons have really challenged me and has reminded me of things I need to regularly think about. The first of the two sermons was on homosexuality. You may ask, why would I be needing to think about this regularly? Especially within the Asian Christian community (and even Asian culture), this topic is really taboo and not often spoke about. It was interesting listening to what other believers of Christ felt about homosexuality, particularly since proposition 8 (about legislation of homosexual marriage recognition and benefits) is a hot topic of interest as part of the upcoming presidential election and other politics going on here in the States.

From what I heard two Sundays ago, I'd say many people fell within two schools of thought, where one is the 'fire and brimstone' (traditional) type - people should not tolerate/accept gays and lesbians - and the other school is more liberal and openly accepting homosexuals within the community. By no means am I questioning whether or not homosexuality is acceptable in the eyes of God. It is clear from Lev. 18:22 that lying with another person of the same gender is impure in the eyes of the Lord and from Genesis 1 and 2, God presents the union of Adam and Eve, a man and a woman, not that of the same sex. I think the main point I got out of the sermon, which presented both school of thoughts is how we should treat people. How often do we put a wall between ourselves and other people with a different sexual orientation? Make them outcasts of the community?

An interesting point was made during service: why do we treat homosexuals differently in comparison to others who are lustful and break the laws set by God (with respect to sex and marriage)? I'd have to admit that I do show prejudice against homosexuals, but I think the question stated above, should I be holding this prejudice? It's clear from Matthew 22 that we should 'love our neighbours as ourselves,' the second greatest commandment. I don't think that sexual orientation stops one from being a good Christian, but for many people, homosexuality and Christianity seems like an oxymoron. We're all sinners and sin leads to death without Christ... so how does homosexual acts differ from other sins (like pre-marital sex, lust, etc.) Some food for thought.

I just pray for wisdom and discernment from the Lord.

A Night at the San Diego Symphony

So I finally got connected with the music world here in San Diego. I was pretty excited all week for this - Shostakovich's 1st violin concerto on the program, one of my favourite (if not, my favourite) violin concertos ever written... the melodies and harmonies give me chills up the spine, and of course, it's historical relevance to Stalin's reign in Russia. It was somewhat questionable though whether the soloist, Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg would serve it justice. I've never heard of this violinist before, but I assumed that since she's released a handful of albums with EMI classics, I thought to myself, it should be pretty good.

I was pretty shocked when I arrived at the front door of the symphony hall... it was a high rise building? I never knew concert halls could look like that on the outside. It turns out that the old concert hall (it was absolutely beautiful) was preserved and a hotel was built around and above it - interesting concept. Perhaps the coolest thing that happened Friday night was that I got a free ticket to hear the concert!!! I was standing in line, waiting to get my cheap $10 rush ticket or $45 regular priced ticket if there weren't decent rush ticket seats, but out of the blue, some random elderly lady just came up to me and asked me if I was buying a single ticket and then proceeded to hand over one of her tickets to me. So good! =D and throughout the concert and stuff, we got to chat for a bit and would've offered a ride back home too, but I lived in the opposite direction from her, but wow, never thought something like this would happen. I mean, she didn't want money for her ticket. I think if I was her, I would've at least ask for a little money (sigh, I'm so cheap lol).

Anyways, back to the concert itself. I typically don't like reviewing concerts, but I felt the urge to this time around. The concert started off with a contemporary piece called the Shanghai Overture, by a composer of the name of Bright Shen. This piece was pretty neat - a fusion of east meeting west, nothing spectacular and didn't really show off the capability of the orchestra. This followed by the Shostakovich concerto... Oh my.... I was ready to get up and leave the hall several minutes into the performance. Salerno-Sonnenberg's playing and stage presence was... ummm.... horrible.

The darkness of the concerto was completely lost in her inability to sustain notes and phrases to bring out the tension in the harmonies in the slow movements (1st and 3rd). What really bothered me in the 1st movement was that she was playing dotted halves as though they were half + a quarter. The climax of this movement was lost in her scratchy violin playing and poor intonation. The 2nd movement (Scherzo) was literally butchered... it's like she wanted to kill her poor violin - scratchy, inaccurate and didn't care whatsoever about the orchestra that was alsmot consistently a third of a measure behind her. The 3rd movement is probably my favourite movement of the concerto... and what do you know, butchered again. Pretty much the same comments apply from the 1st movement here - and then comes the monumental cadenza - this thing is a beast - last almost as long as the beginning of the 3rd movement... more chicken scratch and unbearable and unnecessary pauses in between phrases - repetitive too I might add. The cadenza ended off in a hurry of out of tune 16ths and parallel 5th/octave gliss'es. At this point, I just wanted her to play as fast as possible so I don't need to see her on stage anymore.

Some people may know that I don't like obscure movement in a performance... she totally summarized what I do not want to see - weird facial expressions, stomping of the feet, dancing (?!) on stage during tutti sections (she was blinding in that sense *shivers*). I think what really set my impression on her though was when she walked onto stage.. with what she was wearing... looked like sweat pants to me. I really wonder why people like her get standing ovations...maybe because she puts on a show on stage and putting in all she's got. I didn't and will likely never buy that.

With this half of the concert over, I almost wanted to leave and head home, but seeing that I had a nice seat (for free =) ), I stuck around for selections from the Swan Lake ballet by Tchaikovsky. It was a very good choice. Here, I finally got to hear how good this orchestra was under the baton of Jahja Lin. This symphony is very capable and I was very impressed by the concertmaster solos in this ballet suite - clean, articulate and evident that he had a very good sense of musicality.

Phew..... I think I could've go on about this concert even more, but I think I'll end here - just had to get rid of the feelings I had about the concert - especially the soloist.

Time Flies

I can't believe it's already been a month since I left home, down here in San Diego. I'm somewhat surprised at myself though. I thought I'd miss home a lot more than I have. I suppose it's good in a sense that I'm enjoying myself here under the sun rather than thinking about Waterloo all the time when there's so much to do here besides work. Every weekend so far has been an adventure on its own, ranging from surfing and snorkeling to the zoo and Disneyland. And what a way to top it off by being stranded in a small suburb/town because the bus takes a different route after a certain time of day. It's been a lot of fun here, not just the places and things I've seen and done, but also the people I've met here. It's a strange (but good) feeling meeting so many new people here... I guess I always had the mindset that my friends in Waterloo is all that I need ;), but I've found some pretty cool people to hang out with here =)

I really had hoped to settle down and focus on achieving some of the goals I had in mind quicker than I have and it seems like there's always something new just around the corner, not complaining here, but I wish some things could just go according to plan. The biggest challenge for me this term is to maintain/improve my spiritual walk with God. Being on committee in the summer had motivated me to dig deeper into scripture and rely on God and the body of Christ in a way I've never experienced before. It helped me overcome the state of the church and its associated politics that has left a really big scar, yet to fully recover. With the summer term long past (or what seems like it), I've found myself struggling to grasp the closeness I had with God during the school term. I have found a really nice community church nearby, which I'm regularly attending now, but it hasn't satisfied my spiritual hunger and thirst.

I don't blame any of this on the church... they have really opened the doors for me to get involved within the church in worship and fellowship (they call it community groups here) and the leaders of this church really do put in effort to stay in touch with everyone here, but I have been hesitant to take that step to serve and commune with people here.. just the way I am - "quiet and timid" [quoted from a few friends of mine here]. The church also has some pretty cool things working within the service itself and I'd really like to see this in Waterloo - small group prayers integrated within the service and a time for the congregation to respond with questions they might have on the sermon. I guess the latter is a little awkward for Sunday service, but I feel that this is what has made the congregation so open about everything. They aren't afraid to share or pray for one another (from what I've seen, there has yet to be an exception). I really hope that my time here in San Diego will be spent in a way that is pleasing to the Lord.